37 Responses to “Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite”

The playful admonition “Don’t let the bedbugs bite” is a classic part of many bedtime rituals, harking back to older times when bedbug infestations were a common concern. Today, this phrase is often used humorously to wish someone a good night. Here are 37 smooth and funny responses to keep the banter light and bring a smile at bedtime.

Smooth and Funny Responses to “Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite”

  1. “I’ve negotiated a ceasefire for the night.”
    A witty assurance of peace with the bedtime critters.
  2. “Too late, we’re having a sleepover party!”
    Implies a humorous camaraderie with the bedbugs.
  3. “I’ll keep that in mind if I see any.”
    A nonchalant and humorous dismissal of the bedbug threat.
  4. “I’ve got my bug spray as my knight in shining armor.”
    Portrays a humorous battle-ready scenario for bedtime.
  5. “Guess I’ll have to sleep standing up tonight!”
    Offers a comical solution to avoid the bedbugs.
  6. “I’ll just tuck them in their tiny beds instead.”
    A humorous twist suggesting hospitality towards the bedbugs.
  7. “I’m renting out my bed to them; they promised to be quiet.”
    Turns the situation into a funny business arrangement.
  8. “Only if they promise not to steal the covers.”
    Blends a common human bedtime issue with the bedbug scenario.
  9. “They signed a peace treaty; we’re good for the night!”
    Imagines a diplomatic resolution to the bedbug menace.
  10. “I bribed them with cookie crumbs.”
    Suggests a humorous pact with the pests.
  11. “Don’t worry, I’ve got my bedbug armor on!”
    Playfully prepares for a nighttime ‘battle’ with bedbugs.
  12. “If they come near me, I’ll start snoring!”
    Threatens the bedbugs with a funny and human defense mechanism.
  13. “I told them I bite back.”
    A snappy comeback asserting personal boundaries.
  14. “I’ve set up a tiny ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign.”
    Brings a miniature scale to the usual human request for privacy.
  15. “My teddy bear’s on guard duty tonight.”
    Depicts a cute and funny bedtime protector scenario.
  16. “I plan to negotiate with cookies. They can’t resist!”
    Combines humor with a strategy to appease the bedbugs.
  17. “Bedbugs? I thought they were just tiny masseuses!”
    Pretends to mistake bedbugs for something far more pleasant.
  18. “They’re on a strict curfew tonight.”
    Humorously implies rules and regulations for the bedbugs.
  19. “I’ve trained them to attack only on command.”
    Suggests an amusing level of control over the bedbugs.
  20. “I’m too ticklish; they can’t handle me!”
    Poses a funny challenge to any bedbug daring to bite.
  21. “I’ve convinced them there’s a party at the neighbor’s bed.”
    Redirects the bedbugs to a humorous alternative location.
  22. No worries, I sleep with one eye open!”
    Implies a humorous vigilance throughout the night.
  23. “They’ve agreed to a truce for my beauty sleep.”
    Combines vanity with a humorous peace agreement.
  24. “I swapped my bed for a hammock; let’s see them climb!”
    Imagines a comical escape plan from ground-based pests.
  25. “I gave them a bedtime story; they’re out cold.”
    Turns the tables by putting the bedbugs to sleep instead.
  26. “We’re in a serious relationship; they wouldn’t dare!”
    Jokes about having an ‘intimate’ understanding with the bedbugs.
  27. “I’ll snore them away!”
    Uses a common human quirk as a humorous defense.
  28. “They prefer the couch, thankfully!”
    Humorously relocates the bedbugs to less personal quarters.
  29. “I’ve covered my bed in moats; let them try!”
    Invents a medieval strategy for dealing with bedbugs.
  30. “I’ve got a lullaby ready to knock them right out.”
    Prepares to sing the bedbugs into submission.
  31. “Let’s hope they respect my personal space tonight.”
    Wittily acknowledges the bedbugs’ usual disrespect for boundaries.
  32. “I’ve turned my bed into a no-fly zone.”
    Jokingly enforces air traffic control over the sleeping area.
  33. “I charmed them with my bedtime stories.”
    Implies a magical solution to keeping the bedbugs at bay.
  34. “They’ve moved on to bigger and better mattresses.”
    Suggests the bedbugs have ‘upgraded’ their choice of beds.
  35. “I whisper threats in my sleep; they’re terrified.”
    Offers a funny and imaginative nighttime activity.
  36. “We have an understanding: they don’t bug me, I don’t bug them!”
    Plays on words to outline a mutual agreement.
  37. “They’re allergic to my pajamas.”
    Proposes a whimsical reason for bedbugs to keep their distance.


Responding to “Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite” with a dash of humor can add a playful end to any day. These 37 responses provide a range of funny retorts that keep the nighttime saying alive and kicking, perfect for sharing a laugh before drifting off to sleep.

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